TBI, PTSD and the Holidays

  Mother to Mother

  Mavis MacDowell

             During this holiday season we should be mindful of the stresses that our veterans may be  feeling.  Holidays are stressful as well as enjoyable for all of us. I don’t have to tell you our veterans  with TBI or PTSD may have a more difficult time processing and reintegrating into family events.

             A TBI survivor may recognize a person’s name and or face, but THEY MAY NOT REMEMBER THE EMOTIONAL CONTENT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.          That happened to both me and my son. There can be problems if the family doesn’t understand that.

            Smaller gatherings are preferable. They won’t be so overwhelming. Dad, mom or sibling, whichever family member the veteran relates to best  should sit with the  returning soldier and talk about the events planned for the  holidays. Talk about who is coming and update your veteran  about each person. Try to tactfully  refresh  their memories. Example; “Uncle Henry is coming. You know he was in  Vietnam and will want to compare experiences. If he gets to be too much just  pat him on the back and excuse yourself to get  something more to eat or drink. Then you can stop and talk to one of your   teenage cousins about the game.”

Pre-plan strategies to deal with the relatives you  will be inviting. As the  mother  and hostess you can limit your guest list to people who won’t  cause more stress for your  son or daughter.

            Include your traditional family holiday activities as Christmas or Hanukah songs or games. Do not ask  the  person with  a TBI or PTSD to lead the prayers or other activities. Let them integrate back in at their own pace.

            Several  of the mothers I know have expressed concern about excessive smoking and drinking after their child’s return. We know that alcohol misuse increases the risk of conflict for those with  TBI. The injury makes them more vulnerable to the effects of alcohol. Consider serving beverages with less or no alcohol content.  Examples are eggnog, hot chocolate,  spicy apple cider, fruit punch, or  wine coolers.    Monitor, but don’t nag.

            There is a “Mood Tracker” application for  an I Pad or Smart phone, available from health.mil. To learn  more about managing stress visit Real Warriors, or call DCoE Outreach Center at  866-966-1020.

            Some of the information I am sharing with you is from Webinars conducted by the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury.